Valentine's Day = Love...not Hate

There are so many Valentine's day cynics out there...those who are single and also those who are in a relationship/dating/married. I don't get it.  Sure it is sometimes called a "hallmark holiday" or a day where  restaurants jack up their prices to make more money because they know people will be eating out. But, so what? Why not take the day to appreciate everyone that you love? It doesn't just have to be a significant other, it could be a mother, brother, sister, best friend, who ever you would like. Send a card, call them on the phone, send a quick email, it doesn't matter what. Just let them know that you really care.  Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with devoting an entire day to pink and red heart's if you are passing the love around. Diamonds and flowers are beautiful but not necessary at all. If they are how you would like to show your love, go for it. But a simple card, or longer...tighter than usual hug is just as good too. 

Happy Valentine's day to everyone that I love today, my wonderful girlfriends, Mom, Lane, sisters, Dad, Stepmom, and the rest of my family and family to be. You are all so special to me! xoxo

And especially my fiance :-) You are my rock. Thank you for being there for me everyday of the year and understanding why this holiday of love does have an importance to me. Not for the gifts or the money spent but for the time that we get to spend together. I can't wait for our sushi date tonight!  I love you lots. <3

Not a day goes by

Between the hustle and bustle of the holidays, which extend into January for my birthday I go through a huge mix of emotions.  Of course there is the excitement of the holidays, the stress of getting everything done and the missing of people that can't be with us.  Everyday that goes by I think of my Nana. She was a huge part of my support system growing and we had a deep, unique relationship that will never ever be able to be replicated. She was the one who taught me about a "one true love" and the one I could lay in bed with and watch the news (and trash TV, but she wouldn't want me announcing that) at any hour of the day. I could hold her hand if I was scared or anxious, laugh with over the dumbest jokes or cry with her over nothing at all. She was also there sharing in the every day events that made me who I am today. 

I thank God all the time for the time I got to have with her.  Not everyone can say that they spent a portion of almost every day with one of their grandparents. That makes me feel pretty lucky.  Her time with me may have been shorter that I would have wanted, and as my wedding nears I may grow sadder thinking that she can't be there to share in the day I have dreamed of and planned songs for my entire life but I know she is watching down guiding me, and happy that she knows that because of her, I really truely know how to love with my whole heart.  I am so happy that Brent got to meet her, even if it was only for a short six months.   She knew right from the start that he was a keeper and she was aboslutely right. 

So is just a normal monday....not a holiday or an event, but I have learned over the last 2 1/2 years that missing someone every day is not a bad thing. I don't cry every time I talk about her anymore (just sometimes) because I know that just because I may not be able to see her, doesn't mean that she isn't with me at every moment of every day.  And she wouldn't want me to be sad thinking about her being gone, she would want me to be happy thinking about all of the times we had over the 8,395+ days that we got to spend part of together.

"Even though I can't touch your face, I feel you with me everyday and I wish you could see all my dreams coming true. When I get lost I close my eyes and feel you shining down so bright, I feel you shining down on me..." -Kellie Pickler, lyrics from  My Angel

Perfect Two

Such an adorable song  :-)

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause you are the one for me

And I'm the one for you

You take the both of us

And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the Vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as *cold* as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together

dont know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me

And I'm the one for you

You take the both of us

And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

Source: Auburn

 

Wine, Cake and Love

My Nana always told me:

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.”

Today is one of those days that you want to be happy because birthdays are happy but you can't help but feel sad when you know the birthday you could be celebrating won't happen because the person isn't with you anymore. 

Today my Nana would be 80 years old. There is still a moment everyday where I can't believe that she isn't here anymore.  Sometimes I will see something and think "my Nana would love that" or just want to curl up in her bed with her and tell her about my awful day at work, or the exciting things that happened over the weekend. 

When she first passed away I didn't want to forget the sound of her voice, that was what I feared the most.  It has been two years, and I can't necessarily remember exactly what it sounds like anymore, but I will never forget her touch.  She was one of those people that could touch you with a hand, and you could feel it in your soul.  Her hands, although they were 78 years old, were the softest I have ever felt. She cared and loved so much those who were important to her.  I hope that I have at least half the amount of room in my heart to love as she did.

Tonight we are going to celebrate her birthday with a glass of wine, a piece of cake and love. Just because she isn't here with us anymore doesn't mean that she would want us to be sad. She is looking down over us, wanting us to love as hard as we can.