Bad Nights Sleep & Friendship

Do you ever have those nights where you wake up at like 3:00 am and your mind is racing? Every thought is one that terrifies you, and keeps you awake.  That was me last night, at 4:30 am, and I had to get up at 5:20 am which means that I did not fall back to sleep.  All I wanted to think about was counting sheep and beautiful rainbows. And all I could think about was the fact that Jaks sounded weird when he was breathing, wondering what the funny high pitched noise outside was and why a plane was flying so early in the morning, and if I left the oven on (the oven that I didn't use last night).  4:30 am thoughts are never rational.

I am now exhausted. And can not wait for a light gym sesh, a quick lasagna dinner and laying in bed to watch some TV. 

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The real point of this post is not my sleeplessness, I will stop droning on about that. 

It is a quick thought on friendship.

I am super lucky.

They drink lots of wine with you

As I have gotten older I have gained quite a few friends.  I had a bit of a draught in college, only having one girl that I really talk to anymore (occasionally) from my days at UMBC but once I was out it seemed like friendships started flourishing.  I am not one to consider someone a friend quickly.  I like to start as acquaintance and move up. Mostly because trusting a friend is a big deal. Its a relationship just like that of a significant other. 

And let you give cheesy thumbs up signs

I try to be as good of a friend as I expect out of others and there are things (fair and unfair) that get to me more than others. 

And take pictures with huge pieces of pork

I try to be genuine and honest, loyal, supportive and uplifting. 

And wear funny veils....

I try to avoid flaking (although I know it happens sometimes) unless there is a good excuse. 

And bowl for your birthday...even though I was 25, not 12

 I want my friends to know I appreciate them, and make sure that I ask them how their lives/spouses/pets/jobs are going and no talk about myself all the time.  This is actually my biggest fear.  I don't want to be that girl that talks about herself relentlessly. I talk a lot. I know that. So I try to be cautious and direct conversation both ways (except after a few too many glasses of pinto grigio, then I can not control the direction of conversation). 

No caption needed...who knows what was talked about
that night.

All in all I just want to say, that with craziness, and busy schedules, sometimes I don't feel like I tell my friends how often enough how I really appreciate them.  So all of my friends, new and old, near and far...those I talk to daily, and those who it seems like I don't talk to more than I actually do, are all so important in such different ways.  I think it takes growing up to realize that.  Sometime the friends you thought you would stay really close to you, you just don't.  And these new friends pop up and you feel like you have known them forever. 

Remember to tell your friends how much you appreciate them sometimes.  It just may brighten their day! Just like you are always supposed to remember to tell your significant other that you love them, tell your friends too. They are the ones that are there when you just want to bitch and moan (sorry,explicit completely necessary there...).

And to my best friend of them all......

You get blog love too. I know you were really worried! :-)

To speak, or not to speak

This morning, on my way to work I was listening to the Kane show (like every morning) and they were doing a segment that caught my attention. Two of the interns in the office have become close friends. The one girl told the other that she should get rid of her boyfriend because he is not good to/for her. Well, of course, this caused a rift between them.  Kane had listeners call in to give there opinion. 

There were some girls that said they always give their friends their opinion, no matter what...

Then there were others that called in, who had been the person who had gotten the opinion, lost all of their friends because of it, and was now getting divorced from the person who was the cause of the issue...

Then there were the girls that said, no matter what, as long as there is no form of abuse in the relationship, you keep your mouth shut... 

The later has always been what I follow.  I have always thought, no matter how close the friend...it is their life, their choice, and in turn their mistake. But, is that really the right way to look at it? Is it really ok to just let your friend date/become engaged/marry someone who, in your heart of hearts, you believe is not a good person? 

As I was thinking about it more throughout the day my perspective became more clear.  I think that it is ok to keep your opinion to yourself if it is simply a personality clash with your friends significant other. That is why he is with her, and not you. BUT, I think that it is completely ok to say something if you think that the significant other is not a good/nice/kind person.  Why would you want your friend to end up with someone who treats them badly? or is completely selfish? or expects them to change who they are?

I am curious on others opinions.  I believe that my outlook on this has changed with age.  Even just a few years ago I would have said, MOUTH SHUT, no matter what. But, now as I get older, that just doesn't seem right. If you can tell your friend your honest opinion on small things, shouldn't you be able to give your opinion on one of the biggest decisions of their lives? If you see your friend doomed to unhappiness at the beginning, why not wave a small red flag? Explain that you won't judge for their decision, but you think they should see an outsiders opinion. 

That just leaves one question. After something is said, will they still be your friend?